This morning working with a group, we looked at a depiction of the marshmallow study with children from years ago. A large marshmallow was placed before each child, then each child was told that they could eat it now, but if they waited 15 minutes to eat it, they would receive a second marshmallow. It turned out that only about a third of the children were able to wait the 15 minutes and receive the second treat.

This demonstrates an ability in some to postpone instant gratification toward a larger, more fulfilling reward. The nurture of this ability in our lives can manifest itself in many diverse ways and will be a blessing to us as we face adversity, challenges, and hardships.

In this morning's discussion, my mind reverted to joining of the wrestling team in high school. I remember thinking that I was in pretty good shape, having just went through the football season and participating in all the conditioning that we had achieved. Was I ever wrong!!! The first order of business on the first day of wrestling season was to run 5 miles. To this day I remember that first 5 mile run. My legs feeling like rubber, my lungs burning. I have to admit that postponing the desire to stop and rest or to get a drink along the way was very difficult. In fact, I know within myself that had I not the companionship of two friends who gave me positive support and encouragement, I would surely have fallen to the desire for these immediate gratifications.

As time went on, I came to know the importance of this daily conditioning, because when on the wrestling mat, in my first few matches, that 6 minutes was the longest six minutes I had ever encountered in my life. My lungs burned and fatigue set in much too quickly, yet over time my body responded to the daily conditioning and my ability to weather these rigors increased greatly.

In my work as a therapist, I have come to know that in mental/emotional conditioning, there are two roads traveled. A road of negative outlook about one's self-worth, competency, and abilities; or a positive understanding of such attributes. Daily conditioning through self-talk brings either a positive sense of self, leading to unlimited success and achievement or a negative view of personal attributes and abilities, which spawns self-sabotage, bringing on a perception of personal incompetence and worthlessness, a view of one being somehow broken without any hope of being repaired.

Remember, what you focus on in your mind, you will move toward, you will eventually act out in your behavior. Your brain has an ability to validate whatever you actively and consistently process within it. In other words, it will make you right about such perceptions by adapting your behavior toward their validation. Therefore, as a student, if you deeply process the idea that "I WILL NEVER PASS THIS TEST, THERE IS JUST TOO MUCH TO REMEMBER," your brain may block your memory to validate your perception. If as a romantic partner or spouse, you deeply process the understanding that "I AM NOT DESIRABLE AND DO NOT DESERVE THIS PERSON OR SUCH A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP," your behavior may turn toward creating conflict aimed at sabotaging the relationship, therefore making your perception right.

Please take inventory of your daily thought patterns and make changes toward positive thought. Challenge your perceptions and where they came from, where they were created. Your happiness depends on it.